Sometimes, the moments when you really appreciate humanity come unexpectedly. Take, for example, this cell phone text conversation that took place at 1 a.m. last night…

Text [Unknown Number]: Hey who is this?

Me: Garrett

Text: Oh well this is your neighbor Sarah*. you smoke right?

Me: Not so much as of late

Sarah: Alright well do you have a gram?

Me: I sure don’t, sorry.

Sarah: Shit man, alright. Thanks anyway.

Now, without going into too much detail, this is hilarious, mainly because Sarah is my neighbor’s 15-year old daughter who I used to babysit. Not to mention the fact that she somehow has my cell phone number (without knowing who it belongs to) and upon discovering that it was mine, immediately assumed I was a drug dealer and still lived at home.

Sometimes I do truly miss the countryside.

* Names changed to protect the somewhat-innocent.